Happy 10 Year Anniversary…

Today would have been our 10 year anniversary.

Ten years…double digits. A milestone that always felt so far away when we first met and somehow arrived much faster than either of us expected. We were 24 & 25 when we met then 35 & 36 when you left.

I keep thinking about all the versions of us that existed over those 10 years.

The version that met and fell in love.
The version that built a life in Texas.
The version that packed everything up and moved to Colorado.
The version that became dog parents instead of parents in the traditional sense.
The version that navigated hard seasons and beautiful ones.
The version that sat in hospital rooms and infusion centers and somehow still found reasons to laugh.
And the version of us that was supposed to grow old together.

I thought we would celebrate today differently…maybe dinner somewhere special, a weekend away, or simply takeout on the couch with the dogs and a conversation about how quickly ten years had gone by.

Instead, I'm sitting here trying to understand how I can simultaneously feel so grateful that I got 10 years with you and so fucking angry that we didn't get more.

People say grief is love with nowhere to go and I don't think that's 100% true.

The love still has somewhere to go…It goes into the stories I tell about you, the traditions I keep alive, every time I say your name out loud because I refuse to let the world forget you. It goes into missing you…and holy shit I miss you so much.

I miss the life we built together. I miss having someone who knew all the little details of my day without explanation. I miss our routines, our inside jokes, and all the ordinary moments that didn't feel important until they were gone. I miss being part of a "we."

Today isn't just about celebrating the 10 years we had, it's about grieving all the years we didn't get…the anniversaries we won't celebrate, the trips we won't take, the ordinary Tuesday nights we won't spend side by side. It's about mourning the future we built together in quiet conversations and shared dreams.

But even through all of that grief, one thing remains true:

I would choose you again, every single time, every version of us, every hard season and every beautiful one.

10 years was never going to be enough but loving you for those 10 years will always be the greatest privilege of my life.

Happy anniversary, Cass. I love you still and I always will.