Uninvited Guests: When Chemo Side Effects Crash the Party

A quarter of the way there for me, and I guess this is where things get real. As the chemo builds up in my body to fight the cancer, so do the effects. I’ve been fortunate so far to have pretty mild symptoms but that seems to be changing. This week is where I felt the turn. The nausea, the cold neuropathy, icky-ness, fatigue of course, and the taste. Can’t leave out the taste. It didn’t begin to fade until 5 days after. 

Up to this point, everything was mild. My care team wasn’t surprised, some people just end up having mild side effects! I always have to make sure I’m being honest with them and not just trying to be a tough guy, but after really checking myself this week, I think things are changing a bit. The infusion days are still great. The best day of the next several, in fact. The steroid (but not that kind) and iron supplement I’ve been getting right before treatment is really a boost to my system. It peps me up for the rest of the day. It’s the morning after that begins the slog of uninvited guests in the form of side effects. Currently that means Tuesdays. The whole day had looming nausea that came in waves. It never completely went away, but also isn’t making me heave or look around quickly for a bag all the time. It’s the obnoxious guest to the party that stays way too long and you wish would just leave already.

There is also the overall feeling of something that I don’t know how to describe other than being “icky.” It’s a weakness. A flu, but without the fever or runny nose. An exhaustion of the body, but somehow resting doesn’t help. This hangs around all day like the nausea, but less in waves and more steady. It’s not as strong as the other feelings but is always in the background. It’s the guest who stands in the corner, doesn’t talk to anyone else, just eats & drinks and then goes home.

It’s possible the icky-ness is actually from the drugs and poisons in my body, and not just a side effect. Same with the taste. It’s chemically bitter and unique, but could probably best be described as some sort of metal. This time it was the most pervasive and annoying part of the week. All day every day until around Saturday afternoon it just wouldn’t go away. I was constantly finding something to drink on, snack on, chew on, anything to break through it. Gum and candy work well because some of those flavors are strong. I realized sometime Wednesday night/Thursday morning that no amount of water or tea or coffee was going to wash it away, and that solids work better. Gum is my new best friend and always welcome to the party! I’ve been drinking plenty of water and my diet is already well established, so I really don’t need the excuse to eat or drink anything else throughout the day. But that taste, hot damn it’s persistent. 

The cold neuropathy is the surprise plus-one that you hate. The one who wasn’t RSVP’d for and you can’t figure out why they’re there. Cold neuropathy for me is in the form of pain when I touch something cold. It’s tingly like when you sit awkwardly and your foot falls asleep, but much “sharper” and much more painful. It’s the first of the symptoms to fade throughout the week, but not by much. It rained a bit here in Denver and even touching the colder wet surfaces outside would trigger it. We’re in the middle of summer and it’s a good thing, too, because the winter would be pretty harsh with this one. I wear gloves when grabbing anything out of the fridge or freezer. In fact, I wear them a lot around the house. Even when working sometimes because my desk has a glass dry-erase surface that’s cold to the touch. It’s limited to my fingertips for the most part, but bare feet on a tile bathroom floor is also no less than 4-5 minutes of rubbing them with a heating pad. I stay pretty bundled up most of the time even though it’s June! This is the one my doctors and nurses have warned me about, because as we progress through chemo this is one of the side effects that has a small chance of becoming permanent. I’m holding out hope since it’s one of the things which fades now… that it can also fade away later when we move to a more maintenance based regimen. That’s still the goal. In the meantime, It’s time for me to put my head down, get moving, and manage these unwelcome side effects that we don’t want around. 

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